I get a lot of questions about how to write a good online dating profile. Usually it’s because someone isn’t getting many responses to their emails, or she/he just isn’t generating good matches. After all, the goal is to attract the right men or women to you. I have two suggestions that could turn things around, so don’t roll your eyes and say that online dating sucks. Cuz it doesn’t. Don’t be generic, because vague profiles disappear into the crowd.

Typically people need a couple of tweaks to their descriptions, or help in making their writing less generic. Many of us are tempted to write more benign stuff, but that usually sounds dull and forgettable. The fix is easy, though it requires a little self-reflection, and that makes some people squirm. You want to talk about your strengths without sounding like an arrogant a-hole, and you also want to admit a flaw or two. People want someone who is genuine, someone they can recognize as human

This means that you can also include a couple of lines about how you will try to cook but will probably just burn toast, or how you can’t carry a tune. A little self-deprecating humor can do well with online dating. If you’re shy, enlist a friend’s help, because friends notice the quirky things you overlook. They can brag about you, and they can help you decide what belongs in your profile. The point is to sound like yourself, not like a polished template.

The bottom line: not everyone will like you, but that’s not the goal. You want people who are attracted to who you are, who will strike up a conversation because something in your profile caught their eye. Choose good photos, and don’t post an old vacation shot that no longer looks like you. If you need better pictures, ask a friend with a camera to help. Skip the bathroom mirror selfie, wear a shirt, and let your profile match the real person.